Hard to believe I only have 3 more nights in Bangkok. I'm in so much denial about it, it's unreal. I am overwhelmed with sadness - for the friends I'm leaving, for the students I'm leaving, for the ministries I'm leaving, for the home I'm leaving. I feel like the best years of my life are coming to an end, and I'm dreading having to assimilate back into American culture. I'm anticipating an indeterminate period of depression and extreme heartbreak, wondering if I made the right decision and longing to return; to say that Thailand has a special place in my heart doesn't even begin to cover it. No matter where I go in the future, and regardless of how much time I spend there, it will never mean the same to me that Thailand has and does. The life I've built here, the community that I've been surrounded by, and the endless memories I've made will be things I'll always cherish and look back on as more of a blessing than I could have ever dreamed they would be. I never expected to be here this long, and yet it still just feels like it's flown by too fast. I know it's time to go, but I'm still having trouble accepting that I have to leave on Friday. I haven't made it through a single day in the last two weeks without something making me tear up and sob like a little girl; even typing this post is making me cry. I hate goodbyes, and I wish I could just skip that part; I'm going to be an absolute mess at the airport Friday night. Words can't even describe how much I'm going to miss living here, and all the people who've touched my heart. I love you all, and hope promise to see you again someday soon.
-นารี
1 comment:
Heartbreak--a sure sign that you gave it your all, Amelia. You have an exciting future ahead, and that won't diminish the memories you've made, the lives you've touched, the work you've done. Safe travels--see you soon, Valerie
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