Final Days in the South

The last 3 days of my trip were spent staying with Flo, as our weekend had gone well and there was no reason for me to go back to Toulouse. I had managed to pick up a cold in Paris, despite the beautiful weather and all, so was mostly parked on the couch with my cold medicine and tissues. Flo had to work Tuesday and Wednesday(and Thursday morning), so I took the time to try to rest and recuperate. He brought me more cold medicine Tuesday evening, cooked us dinner both evenings, and made sure I was well taken care of.
My flight back to Bangkok was leaving from Paris at 10:30am Friday morning, so I booked an overnight trip on a sleeper train for Thursday night. First class, of course. Flo has Thursday afternoons off, so we thought we'd give the beach another try, but on the way there Flo's car insisted it needed a break. Poor car. So we pulled off the road and enjoyed a beautiful walk through the vineyards instead. :)



I insisted on taking us out to dinner that evening, and we went to this hidden little restaurant in Narbonne that was decorated much like an antique victorian house, with a dim atmosphere and lamps on each table. We both started with salad, his with a side of foie gras and mine with a side of toast and goat cheese, then he had duck while I chose the queen scallops.


Dinner was going well..until I looked up at one point and noticed that Flo wasn't eating much of his food. He said he was just feeling a bit full, but the sadness in his eyes said otherwise. We both knew I was leaving in a few hours, and the finality was really setting in. I could see he was hurting, and it made me feel worse, and I felt a few tears run down my cheek as we tried to put on cheerful faces for each other as best we could.
Saying goodbye at the train station that night was the hardest goodbye I've had with him. We had talked about "us" the night before, and with tears I had told him that I couldn't have a future with him; as much as it pained me to say, but because of our conflicting beliefs (well, my beliefs and his lack of beliefs). It had been hard, but we had agreed that it was probably for the best, and I was feeling okay with how we would part...until it actually came time for me to leave. The tears were just flowing at this point, and I didn't want to let go of our embrace. He kept trying to reassure me that it would be okay, that he'd loved every moment we'd spent together, and that I was always welcome in his home, but I still felt miserable. The train blew it's final whistle, and I reluctantly boarded, watching and waving through the window as we slowly pulled out of the station.